He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I hate all girls vehemently.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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