Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
