Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Randomize
