is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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