Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
