guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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