i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
one might say we're banned from that church
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
