Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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