My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
