Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
