Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
