After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
