i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
