i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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