hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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