MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
