Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
