in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
There was a lot of him and a little penis
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
