The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
