There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
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