Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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