I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
