I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
