I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
