I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize