My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
