I feel like abortions should bother me more
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
