He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
