Im at strip club and am horny
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
