all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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