whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
