It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize