Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
