i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
