As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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