Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
