He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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