So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
