That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Please, let me fuck your mom
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm too high and old for this...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
