i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
