Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
