I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
