lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It all started with a game of naked twister.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
