Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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