you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
