Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize