when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
