did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
please come you make the beer taste better
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
