i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
