I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
