bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
