I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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