at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I party with great urgency now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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