1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
