kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
