I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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