dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
