Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
