I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
