i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
