i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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