Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
