well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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