kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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