u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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