I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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