Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
