Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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