he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
