i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
