i permit you to call me
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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