I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
